Why is it that, when you admit that you are tired, some people are so quick to point out that you also LOOK tired?  Hahaha well yes, there is no denying that either.  Yesterday, this happened when I first got to work, and I was like, my day just started–this is as good as it’s gonna get.  As I type this now, it is 6:46 a.m., and I have been awake for about an hour and a half.  That’s after tossing and turning for I think most of the night.  I tried to be good and go to bed early, but as I explained to my coworker, going to bed earlier just means waking up earlier.  I max out on 7 hours of sleep a night, no matter what (last night may have been closer to 6).  And with a 3 year-old now, naps are not a luxury I can often afford.  (Except today, because it’s Sunday.  Pete has already been informed that, if just one of us gets to nap today, this time it’s gonna be ME.) Continue reading →

This is NOT worthy of its own blog post.  But I don’t have the energy or the time to type up something lengthy anyway.  So I’ll share this little pearl with you.  I’m come to the realization that, since I’ve been pregnant, one of my favorite teas smells like kitty litter.  I’m still drinking it, so I guess it’s not THAT bad.  But I was just sitting here thinking, “What smells like kitty litter??”  Because it has happened before.  And then I realized.  It’s my tea. 🙁  Who knew decaf black tea + peach + ginger could take on such a strange–and slightly disconcerting–aroma.

7 weeks! Another week, another mini-celebration for me.  According to my little ticker I posted last time, baby is now the size of a blueberry. 🙂  I’m sticking with my plan to post at least every week, but there’s really not a lot to report yet.  I’m really feeling positive most of the time, but when I’m feeling good, it’s hard to find stuff to say about it.  But sometimes I am scared.  I was hoping once I got past the 6-week milestone, I’d be better, but I’m still anxious. Continue reading →

Six. Weeks!  I am celebrating the small(er) victories.  But to me, to be six weeks pregnant is a big deal.  This time last pregnancy was a very bad day.  I have a long way to go yet.  But right now, so far so good.

On my message boards, I have  ticker thingy in my signature to show (well, approximately) how big baby is at each week of pregnancy: Continue reading →

Today I am 5 weeks + 6 days pregnant.  I actually started typing this up yesterday, and it was on that day last time that I saw that I had spotted beige.  It made me pause, but I hoped and prayed it was of no concern.  On 5+6, I spent a good portion of the day relieved that everything seemed fine.  Until that afternoon.  That day and the following day were two of the most anguished days in my memory.  So far, it seems that I am one day more pregnant than I was the last time.

I was talking to a friend recently (I imagine she’ll be reading), and she pointed out that it’s a sad part of having experienced loss.  You lose some of that innocence/naivety of pregnancy before a miscarriage.  I kind of envy my prior self.  Before you lose a baby, you are certainly aware that it’s something that can happen.  But joy is the overwhelming emotion.  We feel joy now, and we are incredibly, incredibly thankful.  But our joy is a tempered joy. Continue reading →

This will come as a shock to basically no one.  But in the last several months, I’ve participated in an online community with a number of other ladies who have been trying to conceive for a long time and/or are trying to conceive after a loss.   It really helped me get through the last several cycles in a number of ways.   These forums are FULL of acronyms and initialisms that pertain to the whole process of making a baby.  So far on this blog, I’ve done my best to avoid these things because I imagine most people probably wouldn’t get it.  It has taken some effort–I feel like I’m being so wordy actually spelling everything out because it has become such a habit to shorten everything.  Anyway, one of the most important ones to know is “BFP.”  That is, BIG FAT POSITIVE.  Like on a hpt (home pregnancy test).  Continue reading →

I could probably write a novel on the topic, but we’ll see if I’m capable of writing the Cliffs Notes version.  After having S, and getting pregnant easily the second time, I never fathomed struggling with infertility.  When we decided we were ready to have a child (or rather, as ready as we were going to be…is anyone REALLY ready?), I had this nagging feeling that it might be hard for us.  So (I guess true to form for me), I started charting temperatures and such right away.  A few months in, I began using OPKs (ovulation predictor kits).  It took 8 months to conceive S, so longer than average, but not necessarily enough to suggest something wrong.  When we started trying for #2, I got pregnant on just the second cycle of trying.  I hadn’t even started charting yet. Continue reading →

There was a time not so long ago when I really wondered if I’d ever get a chance to type in here again.  I’m happy to announce though that finally, finally I am expecting again.  Praise God.  It had become my habit with my previous pregnancies to blog every. little. detail.  So, I somewhat plan to take the same approach this time. 😉  So again, I warn anyone who doesn’t appreciate details about everything, including bodily functions…steer clear of this blog!  (It’s strange how I’m so quiet and reserved in real life…usually.  And yet somehow you put let me near the internet and I just let it all hang out.)  But I digress. Continue reading →