Why is it that, when you admit that you are tired, some people are so quick to point out that you also LOOK tired?  Hahaha well yes, there is no denying that either.  Yesterday, this happened when I first got to work, and I was like, my day just started–this is as good as it’s gonna get.  As I type this now, it is 6:46 a.m., and I have been awake for about an hour and a half.  That’s after tossing and turning for I think most of the night.  I tried to be good and go to bed early, but as I explained to my coworker, going to bed earlier just means waking up earlier.  I max out on 7 hours of sleep a night, no matter what (last night may have been closer to 6).  And with a 3 year-old now, naps are not a luxury I can often afford.  (Except today, because it’s Sunday.  Pete has already been informed that, if just one of us gets to nap today, this time it’s gonna be ME.)

So yeah, I’m absolutely zonked.  Which I’m equal parts totally frustrated about because life outside work falls apart (I completely cease to function when I get home from work)…and completely happy about because it seems like this is how I do the first trimester.  I’m not puking, but this actually makes me FEEL pregnant.  With S, I called this my narcoleptic zombie phase.  I’m not sure if it’s that bad yet, but it might get there.  It feels good to feel like things are working as they should this time.  Especially after waking up from a dream where I found I was hemorrhaging.  (There were some distinct clues that it was, in fact, a dream.  But it still felt totally real.  I really believed it was happening.)

(Here’s where I remind you that this blog may be TMI for some readers, though this next bit is pretty tame when it comes to me and TMI.)  There have also been some subtle body changes lately.  Namely, my boobs.  (Apparently it’s a thing for girls to name their boobs?  How many actually do that?  My boobs have always been nameless.  Unless you consider my “left one” and my “right one” as names.)  Anyway, last couple of days, it’s almost like I SHOULD name my boobs because they have taken on very different personalities.  A few days ago, I noticed that they were getting noticeably firmer.  Which is normal pregnancy stuff.  But sadly the same size.  (It was more of a perk with my first pregnancy when the boobs got slightly bigger, enough to ultimately buy new bras, but the rest of my body hadn’t really changed yet.)  Now, in the last two or three days, I can say my right one is still pretty much the same…and my left one just keeps growing.  LOL.  I’m still not sure how I feel about this.  It’s a little bit problematic I suppose, but it’s so funny I can’t help but crack up whenever I think about it.  Still, I hope they even out a bit eventually….

They other symptom I’m now having, which I wrote about once before, is the bloat.  I start my day looking less pregnant.  And by the end of the day, if I really relax my abdomen, I could probably get strangers asking me when I’m due.  It’s funny to look back at old belly pictures because my new normal (not-pregnant) is probably beyond my 9-week picture from before (I didn’t get any pics between 9 weeks and 13 weeks, so I don’t really have an accurate representation).  And right now, depending on time of day, I feel like I look more like my 13-week or 16-week pictures.   I know I’ll show “for real” sooner this time since it’s not my first pregnancy, but it’s still kind of interesting and fun to see the body changes.  I will be glad though when it definitely looks like a baby and not just general roundness around the middle. 🙂

I could also talk about Baby Brain, but that may be enough for its own post.  Sometime, when I have time and I’m not super tired.  So…someday.  Time to start my day!  (Tomorrow…first appt with Dr and hopefully first scan.  I will do my best to update.)