There was a time not so long ago when I really wondered if I’d ever get a chance to type in here again.\u00a0 I’m happy to announce though that finally, finally I am expecting again.\u00a0 Praise God.\u00a0 It had become my habit with my previous pregnancies to blog every. little. detail.\u00a0 So, I somewhat plan to take the same approach this time. \ud83d\ude09\u00a0 So again, I warn anyone who doesn’t appreciate details about everything, including bodily functions…steer clear of this blog!\u00a0 (It’s strange how I’m so quiet and reserved in real life…usually.\u00a0 And yet somehow you put let me near the internet and I just let it all hang out.)\u00a0 But I digress.<\/p>\n
This time, on March 3, 2014, when I amazingly saw two lines on a pregnancy test, I wasn’t ready to write right away. I thought I was…I actually started this draft on March 4, but I only got as far as typing a title.\u00a0 I got distracted because, for the first time, I was finally able to read all the blog posts from my last pregnancy that I decided to never publish after it ended in miscarriage at about 6 weeks.\u00a0 I was happy in a way to finally read them.\u00a0 Like I could enjoy those moments again, in a way.\u00a0\u00a0 I somewhat envy my past self as it is hard to enjoy being pregnant as much this time.\u00a0 In some ways, I do feel a peace I haven’t felt since our loss end of June\/first of July 2012.\u00a0 In other ways though, it is very difficult to push back the fear in knowing full well how frail this life may be.<\/p>\n
I had to get a grip on my anxiety before I could write.\u00a0 It’s not all anxiety all the time.\u00a0 Most of the time I’d consider myself cautiously optimistic.\u00a0 But still, it’s hard to write in the midst of a lot of uncertainty.\u00a0 But now I’m ready.\u00a0 I’ll take the advice I read long before I experienced the pain of miscarriage myself and try to enjoy each pregnancy for however long I get to experience it.\u00a0 Though I probably won’t stop constantly going to the bathroom to check for bleeding anytime soon.\u00a0 And I’ll probably keep poking my boobs to see if they hurt today for a while.\u00a0 It’s hard.<\/p>\n
But a whole 8 days of being pregnant and NOT blogging.\u00a0 I have a LOT of catching up to do.\u00a0 I mean a LOT.\u00a0 I don’t know if I can catch up.\u00a0 But I will try.\u00a0 More to come in the coming days.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There was a time not so long ago when I really wondered if I’d ever get a chance to type in here again.\u00a0 I’m happy to announce though that finally, finally I am expecting again.\u00a0 Praise God.\u00a0 It had become my habit with my previous pregnancies to blog every. little. detail.\u00a0 So, I somewhat plan […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/babyg.brainstormwarning.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/684"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/babyg.brainstormwarning.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/babyg.brainstormwarning.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/babyg.brainstormwarning.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/babyg.brainstormwarning.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=684"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/babyg.brainstormwarning.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/684\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":688,"href":"http:\/\/babyg.brainstormwarning.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/684\/revisions\/688"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/babyg.brainstormwarning.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=684"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/babyg.brainstormwarning.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=684"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/babyg.brainstormwarning.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=684"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}